Top 5: Easter candy

One of the best parts of living in America is seasonal candy. Every holiday, about two months before the actual date, aisles of grocery and drug stores get taken over by lurid colors and kindly mascots of holidays. There are toys, cards, decorations, but always candy.

Easter candy traditions don’t make much sense. The holiday purportedly honors the rising of Jesus Christ – heavy stuff, to be sure. Themes of resurrection and rebirth come at the same time as pagan springtime rituals. Honestly, I don’t know how the rabbit fits in, or how he got delegated to delivering chicken ova all over the world.

In terms of seasonal candy, though, Easter ranks at the top. There’s no potential shame to purchase some as a singleton (unlike Valentine’s Day), no purposefully scary or gross flavor combinations (Halloween), and there’s no emphasis on liqueur-filled treats (Christmas, ugh).

My criteria? Had to be a modified candy (nothing just dressed up in pastel colors) available only for the season.

#1.

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg. I confess, this is how this feature began. I was trying to explain, with messy little diagrams, how the Reese’s Egg outdoes the cup variation because of this increased proportion of peanut butter to chocolate. You don’t get that annoying ridged rim like on the cups (or worse, mini-cups); no, this oval is superior to all other iterations. Plus, it comes in jumbo sizes!

#2.

2. Cadbury Creme Egg. A controversial choice. It’s kind of a gross concept, eating a fake candy egg make to simulate the raw yolk, white and shell. And I insist you get the mini, not standard-sized egg. Because when nibbled in correct proportion of chocolate to mysterious filling, you get a creamy, sweet taste that could make you think Willy Wonka himself came up with it.

#3.

3. Dozen gumball eggs. Check out that carton!! And those colors!! Taste is irrelevant in the face of that preciouscity.

#4.

4. Chocolate bunny. I normally don’t even like plain chocolate, but there is something very satisfying about biting off the head of a rabbit. Also, delicious in a Mallomar type fashion when combined with #5. (I’m a pretty dedicated researcher).

#5.

5. Peeps. No, they don’t taste very good. Yes, they could probably outlive a cockroach. But they have these hilariously blank faces and are numerous enough to make them extremely well suited for dioramas. And confusing cats.

Want more?
Day after Easter is April 25. Stock up then.

If Kitty doesn't eat it, what does that say?!